College Life

   This blog is co-authored by several former students I reached out to help me write it. Thank you for taking the time to share your college experience. I also dedicate this one to my five college friends, (Karen, Kelly, Megan, Melissa, and Sarah) who have been an important part of my life since we met during freshman year of college 24 years ago. 

      I attended my twenty year college reunion at the University of Richmond this past weekend. I have five friends I keep in touch with regularly from college. One lives in Minnesota, one in California, one in Connecticuit, one in Pennsylvania, and one in Virginia. We hadn't been together in years. Believe it or not, we talk daily on a group message....or at least they do. I chime in when I can and always read what they are up to for the day. (Some of us have a job teaching teenagers that does not afford being on a phone much during the day). Regardless, we've kept in touch and know what's happening in each other's lives on a daily basis. So when I saw all five of them on Friday night, I started to cry. You see, Seniors, you're not the only ones I cry over. "Are you crying?" one of them said. "Kelly, why are you crying?" I was overcome with emotion at that moment, though, because I genuinely care about these people in my life, and it seemed so amazing to see them all in person. They were there for me when I was on my own for the first time. All of us have been friends since freshman year of college....1993....before any of you were even born. We stayed friends twenty years after we graduated through careers, weddings, disappointments, children. We stood in the Greek Theatre at the University of Richmond that night at an event for multiple graduating classes at UR. There were some older ladies proudly displaying the badge that they had graduated 40 years ago. All of them had white hair and were swaying to the music and laughing. I couldn't help but think that would be us twenty more years from now. I hope it is.

     This blog is dedicated to offering you some college advice. I understand that I went to college 20 years ago, but there is some college advice that transcends generations. I bet those ladies with the white hair swaying to the music at their 40 year college reunion would offer the same advice. So, here goes...

      Juniors, we have been reading college essay after college essay. You are about to submit your first essays for me to read this week. I want to remind you that you have something important to say. Everyone has a story to tell. Find your story. Even if you don't think it's the most interesting story, find an interesting way in. Your college essay is your fingerprint. You can only know so much about you through a transcript and a list of your activities. Your essay tells who you are. I know who you are. You are great people. You have high aspirations. You're funny. Sometimes, your unpopular opinons make me smile. You do amazing things like get the opportunity to attend summer language academies and perform in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Show the admissions officers who you are--who you really are. Take the time this summer to work on your college applications. Senior year is hectic. Figure out who will write your letters of recommendation. Ask them early. And most importantly, don't stress. You may not get into the top school of your choice. I didn't. But I also would never know the people in that photograph above had I not.

     Seniors, I still am not ready to see you go off to college, but I know you are more than ready. I know some of you are scared. You haven't told me that, but I know. I know many of you want new opportunities. You want to explore passions that interest you. Here's the best advice I can give you to alleviate your fears, to help you explore your passions: Be yourself. In fact, be the best version of yourself. If you're afraid, that's okay. I was petrified to be on my own when I went away to college, but I knew at the same time, I was ready. I didn't know a soul when I went to UR. The people I met I would never trade as friends. Find your passions in college. I became a leader in college. I never thought I had leadership potential until those four years. Those four years shaped me into who I am. College is a time for you to find what YOU are interested in doing. It's a time to get to know yourself and who you are even more than you do now.

     I admit, I don't have all of the knowledge when it comes to college advice. So, I reached out to some graduates from the Class of 2016 for help with this one. Here is what they had to say:

Numa Rehmani:

• It has been much easier than the IBDP so far. My IB teachers prepared me so well.
• So. Much. Free. Time. Use it wisely! (To take naps, of course).
• Make smart choices and don't feel pressured to do anything. Your college experience doesn't have to be what you see on TV! It's whatever you want it to be. 
• Smile at strangers and try to meet new people every day. Broaden your horizons.
• If you were a part of any club/team/group that involved physical acitivity and you won't be in something like that in collge, watch out. The freshman 15 is rea.
• Give your parents a call frequently. They will miss you. They already miss you.

Riley Redd:

• Don't be afraid to be yourself. You'll make friends who will appreciate you for who you are.
• Be friedns with your freshman hall. My hall is basically a family and is the best support system.
• Join clubs! From Greek life to honor societies to fun clubs that focus on a hobby--do anything and everything you think could make your college experience the best it can be.

Sterling Saunders:

• College is not perfect. There will be super fun times and super awful times. Don't worry if you don't love all parts of it at first.
• Also don't worry if you're not 100% adjusted at first. It's a big change, and everyone has to adjust on their own time table. No one comes to college 100% adjusted for life away from home.
• Go to class. Seriously. Even if yuo don't pay attention the whole time, going to class is way better than not going. You're at least listening to the material, so it helps you learn it. It also helps you stay on top of your workload. If you do the readings/assignments and learn as you go, you won't have to cram or rush to finish things at the very end. Also, sometimes professors don't include all of their lectures in the slides, so you might miss out on some stuff if you don't go.
• Don't be afraid of professors. Going to office hours can be super helpful. Most professors love what they're teaching, so they love to talk to students about it. They will be happy that you came in and asked a question.
• Take interesting classes even if you don't need them. It's nice to have a class that is a break from your major or that makes you think in a different way than your other classes.

Tristan Amatruda:

• Be very VERY thankful that you have teachers that go so slowly and thoroughly through material. I know it is boring (usually), but your comprehension level will be through the roof. And you will never realize the value of studying/doing homework for practice until your first collegiate math test.
• Atlee, as I'm sure the IB program has proven to you, is a very competitive school. Grades on the latest bio test, GPA, and silly things don't have the slightest effect on your future can seem "make or break" (to use the parlance of our times). In college, unless you're doing pre-med, nobody cares. Everyone is smart, so don't waste your time trying to prove yourself. It honestly is such a relief to be in an environment where people actually take classes because they are interested to learn. So look forward to taking classes that you are curious about and not just the ones that you think you should take.
• Here is a sobering truth: In college you probably won't be in the top 10 in the class. But you also won't be anywhere near the bottom either. Let this simple fact take the pressure off. You are here to learn. You will get a great degree and have a great future. Sometimes it is best to put down the pencil, make some connections, and soak in the experience.

       Whether you are headed to college in a year or a few short months, it is a change but it is an experience that will make you grow and help you become who you are in your adult lives. Tweny years ago, I took a road trip in college with four of my friends. We drove a gold mini van to Florida. It was a trip that I always will remember. These people helped shape me into who I am and accepted me for that person. This iconic picture is all I have left of the memory of that trip. 

            

Ironically, when my friend from California showed up this weekend and her Uber driver was transporting her in a gold mini van, we had to recreate the picture: 

There are many moments in life that can't be recreated. The irony that this one could just shows how life may have aged us; we have families and careers and bills and responsibilities but we still have each other. We didn't need to stand in front of a gold mini van to see that. We have known it all along. And college was what brought us together.

     

     Seniors, I know I've jokingly asked if you have to go away to college. We have a good thing going in room 211; I adore teaching you. Yet, as you've painted those bricks in my classroom and have started to sign them, 

I realize that you need to have an experience like mine. You need your own pictures in front of gold mini vans...or whatever background of your choice. You need to broaden your minds, make new friends, grow more independently, creatively. You need a different perspective outside of room 211.  I'm excited to see what you do in college. (Just please promise to keep in touch with me to tell me about it). And twenty years later when you're at that college reunion, I hope you feel the sense of fulfillment in life that I have because of the people who were part of that college experience.