Summer Edition: Definitions of Wonder Woman in Week 4

     When I was a little kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I would watch Linda Carter on the t.v. show transform from a normal, everyday woman to someone whose lasso and wristbands could fight off anything. I was eight and thought I could do the same thing every time I wrapped socks around my wrists. Even when I was four, I donned Wonder Woman underoos and put on my own red knee socks to serve as her boots. I searched high and low this week for that picture of my sister and me dressed as Wonder Woman, but sadly, I could not locate it. I am sure it's in a box at my parents' house or my sister somehow has possession of it. Regardless, it demonstrates my true passion for Wonder Woman at an early age.

      Fast forward thirty plus years, and Wonder Woman still follows me. In a conversation I had with my mom this week, she said, "Kelly, remember, you don't have to be Wonder Woman." I was telling her how I was having a hard time this summer keeping up with everything, which is extremely ironic considering the only "real" job I have is to be a mom to my kids. Yet, when I found myself cutting the grass after swim team practice while simultaneously grilling dinner, I felt sort of like Wonder Woman--the woman who has to do it all and do it all well. The definition has changed a bit from the woman that I emulated as a kid who fought off evil with her wrists. Some days, I'm just trying to survive the battle, especially when eight year-old Jack Pace corrected a 35 year-old's grammar the other day. In public. To the man's face. This week I've learned to recognize my limitations. I'm trying my best to stop feeling like I have to do everything. It's not easy for a person who doesn't have time to ever be bored and who tends to read three or four books at once, but I really am trying. I've recognized my flaws; I'm not great at enforcing my kids' chores, paying attention to when they're swimming at swim meets (I somehow miss a child swim every single meet), and getting the laundry put away. I sometimes go until 2:30 before I think to eat lunch because I lose all track of time. Forget fidget spinners. I just need a bell schedule to keep me focused. Yes, this week, I'm trying to recognize I don't have to be Wonder Woman.

      Yet, I still aspire to be that woman who conquers evil with her golden lasso and flashy wristbands. I did a little research on Wonder Woman this week. Her character was created by a psychologist named William Marston in 1941. Marston wanted to create a superhero with a new power who would triumph with love. Marston's wife Elizabeth insisted he make his character a woman.  I went this week to see the movie with Maggie and Jack. Jack laughed at all of the adult-humor jokes, and I sat there hoping he wasn't really getting them. Remember, this is the same kid who corrected a 35 year-old's grammar; I have my hands full. I know we had some passionate discussions in the Class of 2018's Theory of Knowledge class on the viewing of this movie, but I'm not trying to rehash those arguments. Rather, I want to tell you about why I've been thinking about this movie all week. As the movie's plot unfolded, I realized this is the movie the world needs right now. We live at a time when hatred is prevalent--from the person who turns the other way instead of helping someone to crime, violence, and drugs. Our nation and our world are in trouble in terms of the way we treat one another and the way we look at ourselves. I considered my own small world this week and watched two people I know within the past two weeks lose a family member due to drug overdoses. Both of the deceased were in their twenties. Both had full lives that they could have lived yet they sadly found themselves on drug-laden, destructive paths. While I did not know either twenty year-old who passed away, I have seen what their deaths have done to their families. And I've realized that the problems of our society are not as far away as we sometimes think.

     There was one quote at the end of the movie that particularly resonated with me:  "I used to want to save the world, to end war and bring peace to mankind. But then I glimpsed the darkness that lives within their light, and I learned that inside every one of them there will always be both--a choice each must make for themselves, something no hero will ever defeat. And now I know that only love can truly save the world. So I stay, I fight, and I give for the world I know can be." I sat in that theatre with tears in my eyes, listening to those words. I wanted to fight for what is right. I wanted to stand up for love. And I wanted to remind the people in my life to always love--to love who they are, to love others.

      I went home after that movie and saw pictures on social media from former student Jack Wilson who had attended the KKK rally in Charlottesville that day. I suddenly felt guilty that I had sat in a movie theatre thinking about the importance of love in the world while this young eighteen year-old was actually doing something about it.

                        

Photo Credit: Jack Wilson, 7/8/17

LOVE is going to save the world. It's the only thing that truly can. I know the words came out of a movie that most would find highly idealistic, but I am an idealist to a fault. Maybe the solution to everything is that simple. LOVE. It's a word that transcends age, time, race, etc. We wouldn't have racial problems and prejudice if we had it in unlimited quantities. That KKK rally wouldn't have even been a possibility. And so this week I can't help but be reminded of what John Lennon so eloquently wrote: "Love is all you need."

     So I want to focus this week on the acts of love I witnessed...a family in my neighborhood opening their home and pool to host the birthday party of a little girl who has Stage 4 cancer.....former students reaching out and inviting me to catch up at Starbucks....journeying back to the mountains to return with my three kids in my back seat....lunch with former and current colleagues....the friend who brought me a gift this week just for something I did to help her....the neighbors who snuck in our house with the spare key to decorate the kitchen for Jack's birthday...the stranger who brought me endless water bottles while I was timing at the 95-degree swim meet on Wednesday...the letter from a former student who is living his dream in the Air Force Academy (One of the best things about being a teacher, by the way, is seeing your former students fulfill their lifelong dreams).

     This week, I realized I was trying to see too big of a picture. Again, I was looking at that definition of Wonder Woman as the person who can do and fix everything. Instead, I made some conscious choices to help others in much smaller ways. I cooked dinner for two families who needed it. I brought slushies to a friend's daughter who had jaw surgery (I had one myself, by the way, and now highly recommend the watermelon slushie at Sonic). I wrote a letter to a former student who I knew needed some inspiration. I made a key lime pound cake for a friend I know needed baked goods more than I do. I walked my friend's dog this week (and I am petrified of dogs). These actions are such small things, barely counting as acts of kindness, really. We need to start small, though, to conquer the big problems like hatred, like drugs, like the deflating kindness of some of the people in our nation. I am smart enough to know that a key lime pound cake and walking a dog are not going to stop hatred in the world or solve our war on drugs. Yet, small acts can multiply into larger ones. It's all about changing a mindset through the ripple effect. I have a new project that I want to take on if I have the courage to do so. It started with a TED talk I watched this week of a young college girl who had low self-esteem and wanted to fix her situation. What she did and spoke about in this TED talk and in her book (which is one I recently ordered) inspired me. She started a movement that fits perfectly with the live 1% better idea I try to uphold. I may be calling on you to join me in this project if you so desire. For, as fast as hatred, drugs, prejudice can spread, we can combat them with love even faster.

     I think back to the picture of four year-old me posing as Wonder Woman, and I can't help but think that my four year-old self was more capable of saving the world than my forty-two year old self. Life has become harder with steeper uphill battles. One thing I do know is that I need to try to stop being Wonder Woman in the definition of being everything for everyone, of trying to do it all. I can't. I am only one person who, like everyone else walking this Earth, is sometimes just trying to survive above water. Yet, I can do something. I can be the Wonder Woman who fights for love, who uses her talents for good. So maybe writing about love in this blog is part of  how I assume the Wonder Woman persona. Maybe writing about the need for love is not as passive of an activity as I thought it was. I may be too idealistic for some; perhaps some of the more jaded people I know stopped reading this blogpost long ago. That's okay. However, if you've made it to the end, thank you. This week, my perception of kindness and how to save the world has changed for the better simply due to 2.5 hours I spent in the movie theatre. So, if you're looking for me in the near future, I'll be donning the metaphorical flashy wristbands and golden lasso in the hopes that love can conquer hate and truly save the world.