#AtleeStrong: Hug Harder. Live Kinder

     When I coached track at Godwin High School many years ago, the other head coach I worked with used to give out "happy hugs." Whenever a kid on our team was down or frustrated or annoyed, he would look them in the eye and ask, "Do you need a happy hug?" The kid would inevitably roll his eyes, as a smile crept into the corners of his mouth. A hug was never exchanged, but the idea of one simply transformed a bad attitude.

      I am a hugger. I always have been affectionate in that way. I imagine a good hug--one that lasts longer than a second and does not feel obligatory--is similar to the way other people feel about handshakes. A firm handshake conveys confidence and someone who is certain of the world around him. A strong hug demonstrates kindness, compassion, and is a way to show people they matter. This past week, I've given out a lot of hugs. Some were tight embraces where the other person didn't want to let go. So I kept holding on until they did. Some were awkward, as I am much shorter than most people and had to stand on my tiptoes. Some were given because I didn't know what to say. A hug just seemed like the right thing at the moment. One young man turned to his mom after I hugged him and said, "She knows how to give a good hug!" Yes, I'm good for something. I promise. Each  hug was my way of saying to others that they mattered. Yet, each hug also told me that I mattered.

     We don't take enough time out of our day to tell other people this. For most of my teaching career, I know I didn't tell the students sitting in front of me those words. I thought I showed them that through my passion for teaching or my desire to listen to what was going on in their world, but how many times have I honestly sat down and told someone in my life they matter to me? How many times have I told them they were important? While I may think as a teacher I am showing this to my students through my actions, I don't think I always have had the courage to say those two words: YOU MATTER.

    It can be nervewracking to tell someone they matter to you. What if you look foolish? What if they laugh? What if they are not ready to be serious at that moment? What if they don't feel the same way about you? So imagine what it is like to tell 30 students they matter. Last year was the first year I recall saying those specific words; afterwards, my class embraced me with a very claustrophobic group hug, yet it changed things between me and my students for the better.

     Quite often I find it is easier to talk about someone else than to speak directly to them. Our world is becoming more and more about screen time--communicating with others through texts and tweets instead of face to face contact. No hug can be conveyed through a text message, though. Even a hug emoji doesn't provide the same feeling. We've become so concerned with the number of followers and rewtweets and likes we garner, yet what is most important is the person behind those likes and retweets. We need to show others they matter, and we need to do this through our kindness. Kindness is not a knee jerk reaction; it is an everyday reaction. I grew up knowing that kindness was just something you did like brushing your teeth and looking both ways when you cross the street. It was not an option. You weren't kind for any bonus points or rewards or recognition. It didn't even matter if no one caught you in the middle of your kind act. For, sometimes the best acts of kindness are the quiet acts that no one knows about.

     I know I try to use this blog to write about what we are doing in room 211, but this month, that is going to have to take a back seat; instead, I want to show you the kindness I've seen around Atlee High School and emphasize the need to continue to show others they matter through kindness.

      Last month I wrote about my junior Theory of Knowledge students painting inspirational rocks and hiding them at Cool Spring Elementary School. The seniors were inspired by such an activity and took a field trip on a weekend to Pearson's Corner Elementary School just to hide their kindness rocks they made.

       Inspired by Lee Davis High School teacher, Brandon Farrar, I also encouraged my senior TOK class to thank two people for something small in their lives. We called this a lollipop moment based on the TED talk by Drew Dudley called "Everyday Leadership." I noticed some of my students were a bit apprehensive about this assignment, so the next day in class I gave them 24 lollipop moments, thanking each individual student. Many reflected later that this was one of the most beneficial assignments they had received.

     Kindness existed in small things like a student writing me a letter this past week and another bringing me an unsweet iced tea from McDonald's because she knew that I needed the caffeine to finish my grading. (She was 100% correct).

     I've witnessed kindness in CAS (Creativity, Activity, Service) service projects of many of my students. One student raised over $500 for the Wounded Warrior Project through a benefit tennis tournament. Another collected several boxes of books for Memorial Regional Hospital's patients. Two other students spent the past two months coaching my son and his teammates at Atlee Little League. All acts of kindness are ones that demonstrated to others that they are important, that they matter.

      This week, kindness existed in Sepp Shirey asking me to wear his jersey to the last home football game (one of the greatest honors I have received as an educator) and then watching him score his 80 yard touchdown as the Varina players cheered him on. I watched that moment live with tears running down my face because I knew what an accomplishment that was for Sepp. Yet, what I didn't realize until I watched the video that has been played all over social media including the Today Show and Inside Edition, that the Varina players clapped their hands as they led Sepp to his touchdown. It was their idea to lead Sepp to victory.They chose to cheer him on. The ultimate example of kindness.

     And I have seen the Raider Nation come together this week in response to tragedy. I watched as people seemed to be a little more kind and compassionate. People seemed to check in on one another. Students looked me in the eye and asked me how I was doing. I sat in the library to talk to students I didn't even know, as they told me about marching band and being new to Atlee and how much they disliked To Kill a Mockingbird (That last one I still don't understand, but I'll be kind and let it go). Students walked in my room just for a hug, not needing any words, which probably was a good thing because I didn't have the right words to say.

     Ultimately, I've learned this week to love longer. Live kinder. Hug harder. Tell others they matter. You Matter. All 148 of you that I teach this year. All of those I taught last year and the year before that. All of those who I have ever taught. You will always matter. Don't be afraid to tell one another how you feel. Hug Harder. Live kinder. #AtleeStrong #WeAreAtlee