Texting, Colleges, and the Importance of Standing Out

I wasn’t planning on writing a blog over Spring Break. It is a break, after all. Yet, this one came to me at 2 in the morning, forcing me to sit straight up in bed. I have two pieces of writing I am required to write over break, one including revisions to my 13-page National Board paper, but of course, I didn’t get any inspiration in the middle of the night for that. Regardless, I felt compelled to write down what came to me at 2 a.m.

So what sat me straight up in bed thinking? Texting. I have been noticing a disparity in my texting versus that of others recently. Let me preface this by saying I think texting is one of the greatest inventions. It enables me to check on my kids when they are at a friend’s house at a moment’s notice. It saves time, as I can ask a simple question to others without having to pick up the phone and have a lengthy conversation. It brings out my sense of humor. As my students, you don’t have my cell phone number, but you do have the means to message me on Remind. I often wonder why all of your questions come after 10:00 p.m., but I digress. Texting enables me to make someone smile that I might not connect with during the day. My dad even sends me a daily thought every single day. We are connected by texting. But lately, I am seeing much disparity.

Here’s what I’ve started to notice. Most of the texts I receive from students and friends are short responses. Now I’ll admit that brevity is not my forte; it’s not even in my vernacular. What I’ve noticed is that while I still capitalize and write grammatically correct texts, most of my friends and students use abbreviations and rarely capitalize or even punctuate. I won’t even get into the use of emojis. Texting to me has become its own language that I am having a hard time speaking. Even my own children understand the language of texting. Over spring break while we were on the way to Crump Park, they started talking about texting language.  “Do you know what ttyl means?” Jack quizzed Katie and Maggie. “How about btw?” I even have noticed them using these abbreviations when they speak. “BTW, Maggie, that is not how you play Minecraft,” Jack said to her one morning. They speak the language, and they don’t even have cell phones!

I don’t know why this idea woke me up in the middle of the night, but it bothered me. I feel like I stand out more than I should on this one. I began to search through my phone, looking at my “paragraphs” and “dissertations” of texts and the short, quick responses that my friends and students delivered back. I was suddenly reminded of my father-in-law who passed away suddenly on this day thirteen years ago at the young age of 58. He was a newspaper editor who upheld the written word like no one else I know. He often asked me to write for The Herald Progress, the newspaper he owned and edited, but sadly, I never did. I didn’t think I was good enough to write for a published newspaper. It was an intimidating request for someone in her twenties. It would be an intimidating request for someone in her forties. While I regret never taking the time to write a column for him, how he must love that I have been writing so much and “publishing” some of it in the form of a blog this year. No matter how bad the writing may be, I know he would be proud of the content of this blog entry. You see, my father-in-law also was not a man of brevity and often behind the times, something I closely self-identify with in my own life. I remember one Christmas he joked, wondering if there was any “bling bling” in the box he was opening. “Bling” was a word that people started using, he had heard it, and decided to show that he was “current” with the times. We never laughed so hard because hearing him use that word “bling” just seemed so out of place. I just know he would have texted me in paragraphs that were grammatically correct if he was still alive today.

So the final thing I realized in my middle-of-the-night thoughts is that these ideas on texting and the uncomfortable feeling of standing out that I am experiencing are metaphors. I warn you: me thinking metaphorically at 2 a.m. can be a dangerous idea, but I rather like this one. So, here goes. Juniors, many of you are away on college visits this spring break. You are starting to think about what the four years after high school will look like. Seniors, some of you have decided on those four years, but there are many more of you who are on admitted student visits this week to make that final decision by May 1. So I have one piece of advice for all of you:

Choosing where you go to college is about where you will stand out, not necessarily where you should try to fit in. Choose a place where you feel comfortable being you, where it is okay to write out ‘talk to you later’ as opposed to ttyl.

I know I stand out in the texting world, but maybe that’s okay that I don’t conform to society’s use of abbreviations and emojis. Likewise, don’t try to fit into the school you choose; try to see what school will give you the support you need to stand out and be yourself. It is a feeling that is hard to put into words that you get when you walk on campus and feel comfortable in your own skin. Go where it feels like home. You see, what I’ve noticed more than anything is that despite my opposition for emojis and texting abbreviations, people are still texting me. When you pick the right place, people will always be supporting you.Wherever that college is that you are meant to attend, listen to your heart tell you where you will stand out.

I remember the first week at the University of Richmond. I called my parents one night, complaining that everyone looked like they jumped out of a J.Crew catalog. I sorely didn’t fit in. I wish I remember my mom’s advice; I’m sure it was something profound as she has a way with words. I do remember telling her that there was no diversity there, and I do remember her telling me that I could be the one that makes it diverse, that I can stand out by who I am and the way I think. I am actually more diverse in my values and beliefs, and the University of Richmond helped me figure that out.

I still will continue to write my novel-esque texts. My fingers get itchy when I think about lack of punctuation and capitalization. I did use btw the other day, by the way. It felt odd, but perhaps that’s because I also paired it with a lengthy statement following that abbreviation. Until texting becomes a language I truly cannot speak, I am going to stick with my grammatically correct, non-emoji texts. After all, standing out is far better than fitting in just because you feel compelled to be like everyone else. Here’s to hoping I have more inspiration at 2 a.m. for the paper whose deadline is quickly approaching. Here’s to hoping that whatever college decision you do make, you find happiness there in the next four years. Whatever school that is, they are lucky to have you; whatever school that is, I know you will stand out.